The Lord of the Cup

For a blog called Goalie Fights, I should probably write more hockey. But, I'm an equal opportunity writer with all sports, just like you are equal opportunity readers (which, by the way, I humbly thank each and every one of you who read my blog every sunday). So, lets take this week as an opportunity to preview the upcoming NHL Playoffs, and see if we can't figure out a winner.

Eastern conference:

Washington Capitals vs New York Rangers

The Rangers have dominated this series this year, 3-1 in wins with an 18-6 goal margin (which, for you math impaired out there, is 3-1 in goals. that is irony, atlantic marmoset). Despite this, I'm taking Caps. They are getting better and better, which is encouraging because it shows me that they are learning how to win in a playoff style system. The caps failed the last few years because they were all offense, which wins regular season games, but not playoff games (see: san jose sharks teams of the last decade). This year, however, they have been defensively minded. They have struggled at times because it is unnatural for them to play that way due to the offensive talent on the Caps, but now that they have adjusted, they are terrifying. They know how to grind out playoff wins, they still have great offense, and they have 3 shots at finding a lock down goaltender (Holtby, Neuvirth, and Varlamov). I've seen Holtby play live a lot this year, and he is legit. Watch for him in the NHL All Star Game in a few years. Prediction: Caps in 6

Philadelphia Flyers vs Buffalo Sabres

The Flyers are bad right now. I wanted to pick against them, but I think Buffalo is pretty much the only team they could get that won't exploit how bad they are right now. Granted, Ryan Miller can win a series by himself, but he hasn't seemed quite as dominate this year (fatigued, I think, from years of already carrying the Sabres) and the Sabres suck. So, yeah, lucky you Flyers. Prediction: Flyers in 6

Boston Bruins vs Montreal Canadiens

I honestly think this is the worst matchup of the whole playoffs. The Canadiens are riding a good goalie (see the Sabres) and the Bruins are collapsing like a dying star. The winner of this series is fodder for the next round, so meh, whatever. Ultimately, I think Carey Price will continue to dominate the Bruins (Montreal leads the season series 4-2). Prediction: Habs in 5 (sorry Coach Ferry)

Pittsburgh Penguins vs Tampa Bay Lightning

The series was an even 2-2 this year. The Lightning are a team on the cusp of being a legit powerhouse. The Pens seem more and more to be a team on the precipice of getting torn down to rebuild around Crosby. Even still, this is a pretty even matchup. I want the Lightning to win, because the seem to have the most chance to blow up a good team (I'm looking at you Flyers), but the Penguins are veteran laden. No Crosby is a huge hole though. Prediction: Bolts in 7

Western Conference

Vancouver Sedins vs Chicago Blackhawks

These teams haven't played in a while, but its worth noting the series is an even 2-2. Vancouver is the love child of every hockey analyst ever, and the spot on pick to hoist the cup. The Blackhawks are the defending Champions, and riding an emotional high into the playoffs, thanks to the Minnesota Wild pwning the Dallas Stars (which is awesome. take that team who formerly occupied our state!) Sneaking in is definitely an advantage (again, looking at you Flyers). I am going to say that the Canucks have been playing peak all year, and have no better hockey stashed away, which is not a compliment. Every Cup winner saves their best for last. Also, the Canucks just make me believe that they are the Sharks reincarnate. Or the Caps of last year. Either way, bad news bears. You heard it hear first boys and girls, the Canucks have no shot at the cup. Prediction: Blackhawks in 7

San Jose Sharks vs Los Angeles Kings

Season series is 3-3. LA plays better on the road, but crappy lately. Sharks are still the sharks, just without Nabokov (who, btw, always had great stats, even in the playoffs. Leadership is non existent on this team (Joe Thornton, Dany Heatly, Jonathan Cheechoo). I literally don't know how the Kings will win, but I always think that, but pick against the Sharks anyway, and I inevitably end up being correct. Prediction: Kings in 7

Detroit Red Wings vs Winnipeg Jets (because the coyotes are just on loan)

A rematch of an opening round matchup last year, I don't see a lot of difference, other than the Yotes aren't quite as good this year, and the Red Wings have been healthier this year. Regardless, this plays out the same in my mind. Prediction: Wings in 5

Anaheim Ducks vs Nashville Predators

As good as the Ducks have been, you cannot ignore the fact that the Preds own the season series 3-1 AND played in the best division in hockey all year (debatable, but I'm saying I am right). There is something about the Preds that I like. Not sure what it is, but they have spunk. If they make it past the Ducks, who are quite dangerous, I think they are the sleeper WCF team. Beware the Preds. Prediction: Preds in 6


Eastern Conference Finals

Capitals vs Flyers

I've explained why I love the Caps. The Flyers are lacking leadership, which is why they do not play a full 60 mins ever. That said, the opening round against the Sabres should propel them to playing better. As long as they can avoid playing the Lightning, they should make it. The Caps will roll whoever they play. Prediction: Caps in 6 (if it goes 7, Philly)

Western Conference Finals

Red Wings vs Predators

I really am low in my confidence with these picks, but with the 'Nucks out, I don't really see a whole lot of opposition to this pick. Besides, you need to show some sack if you want to get things right. Red Wings are the better of these two, and there isn't anything hidden in this matchup. Prediciton: Red Wings

Stanley Cup Finals

Red Wings vs Capitals

In a rematch that sadly does not feature Olaf Kolzig nor Dougie Brown, we get a chance to see the last shot for a rapidly aging Detroit powerhouse. On the flip side, I think this is the apex of the Caps building and growing for the last few years. The Caps are better, younger, and will have more energy. The Wings are more experienced, aware of their closing window, and still skilled. On paper, the Caps look like a winner in 5 games. In reality, there is a reason we play the games. The Wings will not go softly into the night. Prediction: The Washington Capitals will hoist it in 7. Rock the Red Washington, you are a fan base that deserves it. And yes Craig, I picked the Caps over the Wings.


Side notes:

Tiger was soooooo close. Alas, no dice, but he looked promising. Lets hope, for all our sake.

Manny retired rather than serve a 100 game suspension for PEDs. He asked if he could just sit on the Catwalk at the Trop for 50 games, but Bud Selig was afraid his shrunken testicles may become stuck in the grating of the walk.

Mel Kiper is a hack. How that man gets paid to do what he does, I do not understand.

Beware the Orioles. AL wild card team. You read it here first.

Madness Redux

And then there were two...

The madness of the college basketball tournament is winding down now, down to just one last game on monday. Let's take a look back at some of the key moments of this tournament, as well as address a point I heard discussed on sports radio that made me absolutely furious, so that we can enter monday with full hearts and clear minds, knowing that Men's College Basketball is the supreme post-season in sports.

1) The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Well, lets get bad out first. My upset picks? I was incorrect, obviously. Belmont, Clemson, Utah State, Villanova? They combined for less wins than Morehead St. Classic. I don't really regret any of those picks from a knowledge perspective, although I am surprised NONE of them won. They were solid picks, they just didn't pan out. That happens. 

Then, the final four. I happened to get 3 of the 4 wrong, which means I got one correct. Which is one more correct than most people (for the record, my ESPN bracket? 94.6 percentile). It was a hard year for getting the final four right. Pre-tourny, all the experts said it was a 'rock chalk' year (what a stupid expression, but thats a different discussion), and it seemed that way. I felt like they were correct, but I hate picking number 1 seeds to make it to the final four because they so rarely do. Thankfully, they didn't disappoint me in that regard, I just didn't get the other teams right. Meh. 

The good. Richmond. They made the sweet sixteen, which is really respectable. I also will pat myself on the back and say I NAILED UCONN. I really enjoyed round after round the 'experts' repeating the sentiment that Uconn couldn't keep it up, Kemba Walker couldn't keep doing it by himself, Hershey's Cookies and Cream Bars have trans fat, blah blah blah. Fools. Jeremy Lamb has come into his own, Alex Oriakhi is a solid inside guy (probably the difference against UK. he killed the media darling Harrelson), and Napier's use as a pg is clear (and if it isn't, it gets Kemba off the ball and allows him to cut off screens and get open looks). Uconn is a good team, Calhoun is a good coach, and Kemba is a finisher. They are a great team.

Also, the demise of Duke and OSU happened right on schedule. True, it wasn't Texas that eventually wiped out Duke, but Arizona's coming out party for Derrick Williams was even more fun to watch than Rick Barnes sideline antics. AND watching the Butteyes get taken out by Kentucky was great, even though Calipari is pretty much a blight on college athletics. I am pretty pleased with their downfalls. 

The ugly. Missed VCU, but really, I don't know how you'd get that right, unless you saw VCU like I saw Clemson. Perhaps. If you did, awesome for you.

 Butler I feel like, even though they were an 8 seed, we all should have seen coming. Let's review the evidence and their bracket:

A) Shelvin Mack is a pro style point guard, Matt Howard is a hustler inside, and there are about 4 guys that can put up 10-15 on a given night, which is a defensive problem. So, they have players, and those players are loaded with experience after last year.

B) While he looks like a middle school math teacher, Brad Stevens can coach the shit out of a basketball team. This, we also knew before the tourny.

C) Their section of the bracket was primed for this to happen. To be specific: Old Dominion (meh), Pitt (Jamie Dixon cannot win in the tourny for reasons I have a theory about), Wisconsin/Kansas State (both had the look of overrated Cinderella fodder about them) and the Florida/BYU (both of whom were called overrated for their seeds). I am not saying that it was an easy road of a guaranteed final four birth, but compared to some of the other regions, this was definitely the region that gave Butler the best shot at making it back. Should have taken a chance on them.

So, overall, I stand by what I predicted. I need Uconn to close out, but regardless, its been a great tournament to watch, and thats what matters most. Which leads to part 2...

2) I love 97.5 the Fanatic. Its an FM philly sports talk radio. LOVE IT. Tony Bruno, Mike Missanelli, Mike and Mike in the morning, all great. But, the other day, Missanelli was arguing that not only was the NCAA final four shit because VCU was playing Butler, but that the fact that one of them was going to make the final made the whole NCAA tourny a sham as compared to the BCS, because the tournament does not 'find the best team in the country.' Now, let me drop some logic on you (btw, I typically love Missanelli, but I whole heartedly disagree with him on this one).

First, we will ignore the fact that he didn't like VCU vs Butler. He is entitled to his opinions. But the other argument is utter nonsense. First, the statement that the tournament 'doesn't find the best team in the country' implies that the BCS does. Which it doesn't. Which is the reason every year there is a cry to replace it. WITH A DAMNED TOURNAMENT. Now, you could say that the NCAA tourny lets in too many teams and that typically, the best team doesn't win it. That's fine, I'll accept that. But, I don't think the NCAA tournament is their necessarily to find the best team. It is there, I believe, to allow teams from 'lesser' conferences to prove that they can play with the big schools, to earn the respect they deserve, to give student athletes more opportunities to play one last basketball game, and to give the elite teams in the country a chance to show how good they really are. You can say whatever you want about the best team not winning it every year, but the tournament allows teams to prove they are good, and gives teams that would otherwise be ignored a chance to prove that maybe, they might actually be the best basketball team. 

The BCS fails in so many ways, but the biggest way is that the so called 'best team in the nation' is almost always a questionable title. The BCS rarely PROVES that its champion is the best. If you win the NCAA tourny, you've proved something. You don't beat that many good teams, over that long a stretch, and not be a great team. I don't care what you say about being hot, lucky, etc. If you aren't great, you will lose a game at some point. The BCS leaves you wondering how great that winning team is. What if Boise State had EVER been given their crack at those title games? Their are so many what ifs with the BCS. The only what ifs their are in the tournament are, what if we had let even more teams in, how big would cinderella get then? 

Ultimately, the BCS doesn't give you the best team in the nation. It gives you the best team of two teams a computer decided were best. Last time I checked, there was a reason we play the games. We play the games because winners win games, especially when it matters most. You don't prove someone is the best by saying they are the best. You don't prove you are the best by winning one game. You prove you are the best by beating the best teams, from every conference. You prove you are the best by playing. Not by voting. 

Shout out to India for their cricket WC victory! Congrats! I don't understand cricket at all, but I respect the love those who do have for it. Hormuz and Akhil, enjoy some champion partying for me. 

Also a shout out to Neil Walker. Nice first grand slam of the season! Pirates, making a run? Its not the craziest thing I've ever said (I once, under the influence of a 'cold soda' or two, in a heated baseball discussion, may have overstated the quality of Jorge Posada, and by that, I mean I may have said he was an all time great. I regret that comment, but my friends will not leave me out of it) 

Poles and Holes

Oh Tiger, where for art thou? (unrelated, but the girls of professional wrestling are pretty hot. just saw an ad for it, thought I'd share. actually, thats kind of related, but whatever). PGA Tour play is underway, and man, does it suck. We need the old Tiger back.

Let's view the evidence ( B. D. Wong is the man, btw): 

1) Tiger Woods used to be the greatest golfer in the world. Sick epic 

2) He was on a torching pace to break Jack's Major record by clubbing his opponents to death 4 times a year, and then stroking huge shots and sinking mad balls the rest of time, during which he still pwned everyone like they were n00bs 

3) Apparently, he was also stroking huge shots and sinking mad balls of the course with a variety of 'playing partners,' and was totally make full use of his stiff flex shaft in all two through foursomes 

4) Elin found out (details unclear) 

5) Elin stole Tiger's talent SpaceJam style by letting him touch one his irons, then used the stolen talent to carefully craft some great swings that not only made Butch Harmon proud, but also destroyed the windows on El Tigre's Escalade (I mean, thats just another reason to NOT drive an Escalade, but I digress) 

6) The talent club has disappeared, and with it, Tiger's game. It is assumed to be in the warehouse from the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark

7) The PGA Tour has become as relevant as that printer paper with the holes in the side. You know the kind

The awesomeness formerly known as Tiger Woods was great because when you watched him, he played not with confidence, but with knowledge. The knowledge that he was going to not just win whatever tournament he was playing in, but win it in a fashion that humiliated the opposition. He wielded his clubs like he was apparently wielding his Donghammer of Strength off the course; with supreme confidence and extreme prejudice. Those were the good ol' days. I miss those days. 

Zach Johnson is nice. Dustin Idontcareenoughtoevengooglehislastname is a nice story. I hate all the european players, so they carry no interest. Vijay Singh is gone. Phil apparently needs Tiger to play well. Ernie Els looks like he is not only made of wax, but also perpetually too close to a heat source. And thats pretty much all I know about the golfers of the PGA tour anymore. None of them have personalities worth their weight in turds. Its just friendly white guys in argyle. Tiger was great to watch because he wasn't nice and he wasn't 'golf etiquette.' He was a realistic version of Happy Gilmore, except he hated his fans as much as he hated all his opponents. He owned that course, and you were lucky he allowed you to even sniff his jock. And people loved him for it. Or they hated him as much as he hated them, and they tuned in to root against him. Either way, your ass was watching him pound shit. (appropriately enough, a Masters add just popped up. playing stupid elevator music. you know what would make me watch the Masters more than elevator music? Any other kind of music. Could you imagine Highway to Hell rolling in the background of Masters Coverage instead of old British dudes whispering? GIMME THAT.) 

I guess I don't even really need Tiger to be great again. It would help, but its not a necessity. What I need  is him to be a cocky asshole again. Enough of this tame tiger shenanigans. Give me swearing, ball punishing, furious over the smallest mistake Eldrick again. Make PGA golf watchable again. If VCU can nut-punch every NCAA expert for dissing them, then Mr. Woods can find his mojo again, realize he's best when he is a merciless, angry killer, and get back to making the sport of Golf less like 'White Dudes in Whiter Pants' and more like the brand of golf we all play (swearing, loud, club throws. the occasional on the course stripper). I would love to see Tiger walk up to the green, mark his ball, walk over to Ernie 'Meltman' Els ball, take his heel, and ground Melty's ball so deep into the green he has to take a divot to putt it, and walk away laughing. 

Tiger, I need you back. The fans need you. Phil needs you. The PGA Tour needs you. Golf needs you. Most of all, Eldrick Tont Woods; You need You. 

Next Week: NCAA follow up

2 Weeks: NHL Playoffs Preview 

Like what you're reading? Try this guy out for size too 

Lock Out With My C*ck Out

Good afternoon ladies and jelly beans (it is just about spring, after all), and welcome to this weeks regularly scheduled goalie fights. For those of you wondering, yes, I will be eating my generous portion of crow for all my NCAA picks from wednesday, but lets at least wait for the tourny to finish.

No, today's topic is one of a more serious note. While we here at Goalie Fights value humor in our sports talk, sometimes, we need to get real. Realer than even the streets. Specifically, the shenanigans of the NFL 'lockout' are well beyond even superfan levels of acceptable. We all know the numbers by now; $9 billion that needs to be split between owners and players, $1 billion more for owners right off the top than the last CBA, 18 games desired by owners, yadda yadda yadda.

Honestly, they could be arguing about $9 trillion, I could care less. Its essentially monopoly money for the owners at this point, and 78% of the players will be bankrupt eventually anyway, so who cares. I'm not on the players side, I'm not on the owners side, even though they both are clamoring for my support with varying levels of soullessness. But, I am on someone's side. A side that has gotten no recognition, no support, and no love. The side that didn't get to sit down at the table with a list of demands. The third side. The fan side.

I am not speaking in some sort of altruistic metaphor here either. I mean, there are owners/league guys, there are players, and then there are fans. The fans are as real a side as either of the other two, do not doubt that for a second. The only problem is, up until now, nobody has bothered to point out that the fans are a legit group, and they do not need to take all this crap lying down. They NFL and NFLPA both know that the fans are what fund their precious money making behemoth. They both know that the fans hold more power than either. Thats why they keep slandering each other in public forums. Their fortunes are tied to public support, so they pander to the masses. But in doing that, they cunningly leave out that the fans have an extra option.

While the owners and players would have you believe that you must support one or the other, the educated sports fan knows they can support neither. But open your eyes now to the fourth option, that of pulling support for both! The owners can lockout the players. The players can strike against the owners. Either way, the fans get screwed. Well, its time to rise up and rage against this football machine. What I am about to propose may seem ludicrous, to big, and unpossible. But thats okay. Thats what will make it special when we pull it off.

Football will return, eventually. When it does, we the fans need to send a message to the players and the owners, the players, and to every major sport that ever even considers a work stoppage as an option again. When that first Sunday comes, when that first kickoff gets kicked, we put our foot down. That first sunday, we blackout the NFL. TVs off. Seats empty. Scores not checked. Fantasy football lineups not set. We the fans must boycott everything NFL for one sunday. Just one. One game out of a season. Don't go to the games, don't watch the games on tv. Nothing. Complete blackout.

Yes, season ticket holders will have already paid for the game, and tv contracts will have paid the NFL millions, and jersey sales and merchandise revenue will still pay the league. But it isn't about the money. It never is for the fans. We bust our asses in 9-5s, second shifts, third shifts, weekend hours, overtime, second jobs, third jobs, waiting tables, pouring steel, cleaning, day trading, nursing, and teaching. We earn every cent we get. And we spend it on a game we love to watch. We throw on our jerseys, buy the doritos, drink the Pabst Blue Ribbon. Loyally, as our fathers and mothers and aunts and uncles and brothers taught us. This is how the NFL repays us? They can't agree over $9 billion while the american people supported them through one of the worst economic downturns the nation has ever seen?

The time is coming for the fans to stand up together and close our eyes to the league. They can have the money. Shut your eyes now and imagine every stadium in america empty as the cameras roll, as the blitz takes down the quarterback. Imagine the look on the owners faces when not a single fan sits in their seats. Sure, their bank accounts won't really suffer. But that won't matter. If we can come together for one sunday, we can come together for any. We can lock them out. We, the fans, propel the league, not the owners or the players. WE, THE FANS, WILL NOT BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED.

Its never been about money for us. Its never even really been about football. Its been about family, friends, food, beer, rest, relaxation, and fandom. There is a sunday coming. The players are going to call you to the stadium. The owners are going to call you to the games. The media is going to tell you its what you've been waiting for, and they will be right; we will have been waiting for this sunday for months. And we will unite, together, as fans of the NFL. And we will not go to the games. We will not tune in to the broadcasts. We will blackout the NFL. And for one beautiful sunday, we will remind everyone that the fans are what make professional sports possible.

Madness? This is Maaaaaarch

Hello boys, girls, and squirrels, and welcome to a rare wednesday edition of Goalie Fights. Topic of the day? Well, obviously, this. I'm not going to run you through every pick, (that would be cheating! giving you all the right answers) but I'll give you some insights into what is going to happen. Leave your biases at the door for this one, an open mind builds a winning bracket.

Upset University

Belmont: First, Wisconsin stinks. Good teams don't hang 33 on anyone, let alone Penn State (who is also not good). Thats some high school JV shenanigans. Plus, Belmont drains three's, all day, erryday, which is always in the arsenal of those classic upset specialists. Strength of upset: LOCK IT UP

Clemson: The Tigers are hot, more than talented, and they have the benefit of coming off a tourny win. Emotions will be high. I also just don't see WV as good advertised, as proven by the Vegas point spread only being a measly 2. Its a 5-12 game, so that line should tell you something. SOU: I'd bet a cheesesteak

Richmond: Spiderlicious. I think the A-10 is in a very up year, which is not being taken into account. beware Vandy. Unfortunately, the winner of this game gets smoked by Louisville next round, so do what you want. SOU: A cold stone like it. Not a love it.

Utah State: Loving the 12-5 matchups. Kansas State lost to Colorado who, fair or not, is not in the tourny this year. And they lost to them 3 times. Utah State is a classic 'who the fluffernutter are these characters' team, so I'm going with them. SOU: Meh, the line is 2.5. Its no lock, but it ain't bad.

Vanillanova: They have talent, they have quality coaching, they are overlooked, and they are in a bracket to do damage. George Mason, the Media's darling, is in a bizarre situation of facing an upset by a power conference team. Yes, Nova has sucked lately. But its a new day, and this team is experienced. If they figure it out before tip off of the Mason game, they just may make a run past Ohio State to a showdown with the Wildcats of Kentucky, and even the 'Cuse Boozers.

Suspect Giants

Ohio State: The number 1 overall is always a gamble. I never like them, and they rarely make me regret that. They played in a conference that I truly believe was worse than the A-10 this year, so I think they're wins are inflated. They have talent, but they may face the gauntlet of Kentucky/Nova, and 'Cuse. They aren't getting out of that.

Duke: Just like OSU, they face a gauntlet of talent. Texas (sleeper...) and Uconn (favorite...) are talented, lethal, and merciless. If Texas can get past their issues of inconsistency, they have no ceiling. Except Uconn. Kemba Walker is going to bury everyone they face, with extreme prejudice. Also, Kyle Singler (hint: the dude that looks like the elmer's glue cow). Duke has like  3% shot to get out of this region.

Final Four

Syracuse, Kansas, UCONN, Pitt. LOCK IT UP

Winner, winner, chicken dinner: UCONN

I LOVE Kemba Walker. He is a cold blooded killer of a finisher. He can make every shot. And he has a HOF coach and a solid supporting cast. They are a tournament team (2-0 in tournys this year? get sauced). J IT UP KEMBA! If Uconn can D the D, even a little, and stay consistent, they win it all. LOCK IT UP!

Philling in the Blanks

A third sport in three weeks! This week's topic... Baseball! Namely, the Philadelphia Sillies.

As everyone reading this already knows, the Phillies have an all-time great, holy-crap-your-pants quality pitching staff. And this guy. As a result most experts, including the usually reliable Las Vegas odds makers, picked the Phillies as a shoe-in for WS champions in this upcoming season. Reasonable choice.
However, recently, there has been a growing concern over the actual ability of these Phillies to win the WS. Why, you ask? Let's discuss.

A criticism of the Phillies last year, by the 'experts,' was that the Phillies failed because of a lack of A) health, and B) solid right handed hitting. With the injury to Chase Utley this spring training (I am going to go out on a limb here and say that Mr. Utley has probably played his last meaningful game in a Phillies uniform, although I know I am alone on that branch) and the release of Jayson Wereworth, the experts are not only jumping back on the injury/norightyhitter bangwagon, they are slapping rims on it and throwing their PS3s in it like Xzibit was running ESPN. Here's the thing; if you were building a team for the long run, the experts would be right. You obviously don't want elderly players who break down every 5 games and a one-handed batting lineup gets destroyed by a certain type of pitcher, for a dynasty run. But the Phillies aren't looking to win the next 5 WS. They are looking to win one, right now, this year, and luckily for them, they have a key aspect to do just that, which everyone is overlooking.

'But, how can the Phillies win if Chase Utley's knees are more worn out than a Dane Cook joke, and their best right handed hitter has a name oddly similar to Exxon Valdez?' asks the rational sports fan (I know he's not, but I wanted to point that out about his name, so deal with it). The crazed Philly fan will answer with, 'and I'm going to let you finish, but the Phillies have the greatest pitching staff of all time!' He'll probably even have those stupid sunglasses on. But that's okay, what sports fan isn't biased?

Well, yes, the pitching is good, but that's not why they are going to shock everyone down the stretch with how they win. They will surprise the 'experts,' the fans, and the baseball world when players such as Valdez, Ruiz, Francisco, Brown, and eventually whoever they put in to replace Rollins when he inevitably gets hurt, start hitting like they are Murder's Row. What?! Yes, the replacement, backup, role-players of the Phillies are going to not only help the Phillies survive, but actually thrive as an offensive unit.

How? With heart. The most underrated attribute in baseball is heart. Even after a team that won a WS solely on heart (with a little pitching help, of course), people are unwilling to recognize its importance. If you will recall, some guy named Cody Ross carried the Giants offense through the whole post season. If you say you saw that coming, then I think your real name is Hotdog Mcbeerfarts. Anyway, the Giants were nothing more than a collection of journeymen, backups, and role-players. Outside of Buster Posey (who was a rookie himself) and geriatric Edgar 'I don't even know how old I actually am' Renteria, the Giants lacked any true stars. Yet, they won anyway, and it was all because they wanted it more than anyone else.

The Phillies of 2008 were the same. A little more star-studded, perhaps, but nothing like they were seen last year. In fact, the Phillies last season were a much more talented team, top to bottom, yet couldn't win it all. Both of the last two seasons, the Phillies have traded the grit, desire, and heart that won them the 2008 WS, and replaced it with contentment, cockiness, and swagger. In essence, the Phillies went from being the Phillies (stealing bases, spikes up, plowing catchers, doing what it takes to win) to what the Yankees are always accused of being (arrogant and expecting teams to roll over for them). Obviously, teams didn't roll over.

I truly believe that with the stars of the last few years going down with injuries (I'm looking at you Raul, and Jimmy, and Chutley), and being replaced with the Cody Rosses of the world, this team will return to the gritty, hard running, hard playing, scrappy team that can win a WS. Need evidence? Look no further than their record with their 'critical' players out of the lineup. The stretch where JRoll was out? 16-12. When Utley, Victorino, and Howard were out at the same time? 11-4. Why? Because Mike Sweeney knew that it might be his only shot. Every time a guy like that steps on the field, they must know that it might be their big shot. Because of that, they play their hearts out. Its a sure as taxes.

The Phillies are going to be taking the field this year, maybe as favorites. They have an all-time great pitching staff. But their position players, the guys that need to show up every day and get it done, are going to be bench guys. They are going to be role-players, backups, journeymen. But they are going to play hard, everyday, they are going to steal bases, break up double plays, dive, run into walls, and do what it takes. Ultimately, they will carry the Phillies stars, they will find ways to win for their 4- headed Monster of the Mound, and they will earn a playoff spot. And as the Giants showed us all, a little pitching, a little crazy, and a lot of heart can get you past anyone, regardless of their payroll.

The Phillies will be seeing the Red Sox in the WS this fall. I just hope the Philly fans don't burn the city down when they win it again.


Also, for those of you out there who actually like reading this, check back on wednesday for a special March Madness post. Tis the most wonderful time of the year :)

Ride the Lightning

Or perhaps they are all high. Whatever the cause, the Philadelphia Flyers, who are arguably the best team in the NHL this season, look like this (hint, I'm not saying they look like the unabomber from behind). What the snooki-scrotum is going on?

First of all, this is no threat level midnight style crisis. However, if I were a Philly fan (and I know a lot of them), I would be at least moderately concerned. And by moderately concerned, I mean that they are probably demonstrating why they will be the San Jose Sharks of the East for this season, and maybe the next one or two, which is probably the worst thing any sports fan could ever hear their favorite team likened to. So let me justify such a death sentence of a claim.

First, the Flyers are immensely talented. I, as a non-flyers fan (yet I do not hate them, making me probably the only person in the universe who can say that with a straight face), will readily admit that they are the deepest team in the NHL. They have solid 3rd and 4th lines, they have stars like Briere, Carter, Richards, and Pronger (I loathe him though. This picture just tells me I'm right), they have a young, solid goalie in Bobrovsky (yes, he is for real, at least for this season), they have some great role players/future stars in Versteeg, Leino, and Giroux, and Laviolette is a quality coach. Additionally, there are only 2 teams in the rest of the league who rival them on paper, and that is the always quality Detroit Red Wings, and the league-leading-despite-everyone-on-their-defense-being-dead Vancouver Canucks. Personally, I think the Canucks are good, but the Sedin twins somehow manage to turn into Joaquin Phoenix's career come playoff time. So, we will see about them (read, they will not be in the finals). So, even if the Fly Guys slump a little, who gives a Zhitnik?

Well, Philly fans should. Let's give them the benefit of the doubt and say the turn this recent slump around, totally forgetting about how the NY Rangers destroyed them 7-0 (Phil Osgood would be proud).   I find it always a bad sign when any team in any sport enters the playoffs playing like a turds, but they are great, they can over come this, right? Wrongo.

Enter, the Stevie Y built Tampa Bay Lightning. Yes, those same Lightning that are behind a surprisingly poor Capitals team in the standings this year, that have only 3 players you can name (4 if you are a hockey fan) and who were at various points of the previous few seasons the definition of craptastic. The Lightning are solid, on the rise NHL team. But they ain't no flyers (just don't tell them I said that). Despite the fact that they are not as good as those Philly Phlyers (why isn't it spelled like that anyway), they own them this season. And I mean own.

This would be less problematic for the flyers if they 1) were burning the world down with stellar play, or 2) the lightning were not going to make the playoffs. But neither is the case. Not only are the Flyers stinky like Kardashian vag, I'd be willing to bet (if I were a gambler) that they are going to be seeing these Tampa Bay Bolts in a playoff round at some point.  So lets say the flyers survive teams like the newly defensive Washington Caps, the always dangerous Pittsburg Penguins, the Buffalo Ryan Millers (who can win any series on his back alone, but probs not the whole shebang) or the, oh wait, NY RANGERS (the flyers just beat them 7-0, so no worries flyer fans. oh wait. $4!#. The Rangers hung the 7 spot on the flyers. Classic mixup), they still may have to face the team that has kicked their @$$ blueline to blueline every time they've played.

All I am saying is, Philly fans, quit being so cocky. I've heard your shenanigans all season, and your ego is showing. Yes, you have a great team, but they aren't invincible. They have quite the achilles heel, and I'd hate to gloat over you when my boys raise the cup (read: suck it). You can be excited all you want, just don't think you can walk into the finals. Lightning crashes in unexpected places sometimes.