SuperEagles+

Hello, and welcome to part 2 of this weekends return to Goalie Fights! The only sports blog that enjoys outrageous nicknames and analogies more than it likes the idea of Ann Coulter getting mauled by bears. As promised... SuperEagles!

First of all... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SUCK ON MY BIG SWEATY SACK GIANTS, REDSKINS AND COWBOYS FANS. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Now that that's out of the way, let's get down to business. Let's roll through the insanity of the Eagles list style.

1) The Eagles front office smashed the faces of the Cardinals front office. The Kevin 'Corn on the' Kolb trade was a bigger sports related theft than OJ's sports memorabilia heist. I mean, Domanique Rodgers-Cromartie, hence forth known as the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC, get it?!) for Kolb is probably a win for the Beagles. But adding in a 2nd round pick that will now be a cap friendly pick thanks to the new CBA just makes it that much better. Thank you Arizona.

2) Nandi Bear!!!!!!! Mr. Asomugha is going to be a much welcomed addition to the secondary, as will the addition of the afore mentioned DRC, and the return of Nate Allen and the drafting of Jaiquwan Jarret. I mean, really, have fun throwing into that. Oh yeah, and we have Asante Samuel (who they BEST not trade). At least when Eli starts imploding with picks, it will be more understandable why.

3) Cullen Jenkins. I haven't thought of a good nickname for him yet, so I'm all ears. Maybe Blade. I like that for the reasons demonstrated in this picture, and if you cannot connect the dots, laugh anyway because you know it would be hilarious if you got it. Yes, yes, it must be Cullen 'Daywalker' Jenkins. Gooood... Gooood... On the upside here, he bolsters the poop that is the Eagles run defense. Casey Matthews should also help on that front (although, I'm expecting maybe too much from him off of his brothers credentials, but we will see).

4) Jason Babin. He is really the X-factor for this defense, and here is why. I have NO idea which Jason Babin will show up. Pro Bowler or former Eagle? If its the former, Trent Cole or he draws the double, and Cullen Jenkins and Cole/Babin gets single blocked and runs a muck. Someone is going to have 13+ sacks, 3 FF, one QB kill, and a great shot at D player of the year. But we need him to be the Pro Bowler. I put the odds on him being dominant at 2:1.

5) Ronnie Brown. Love it. Yes, he is made out of tooth picks and silly puddy, but he won't be taking the majority of the carries. Plus, he can power through when he needs to, can catch the ball, and has the experience to protect the ball. Its also not like he has ever been a bad back, he just gets hurt more than a man with no skin. Just saying.

6) Vince 'The Hammer of Anger' Young. Literally, the perfect backup to Vick. He plays the same, has quality mobility, is kind of like a young Vick, and has the tools to be good down the road. Granted, he isn't as skilled at present, but Andy Reid has made McNabb look good, Kolb worth DRC and a 2nd rounder, and Vick into an MVP caliber QB. I mean, the guy could have made Bobby Hoying a starter. Give him a few years with Vince, and lets see what the fat man can do.

7) There is no one good left in the division. I mean really. The Giants would be closest, and they have too much internal strife, too much Tom Coughlin, and too much Lesser Manning. The Cowboys are probably the sleeper pick to finish second with the motivation of new coaching and a fresh start, but the both suffer from a lack of depth of talent, a lack of peak talent, and the have a Ryan coaching them, which translates into tons of talk, getting close, and never pulling it off. Hey Rob Ryan, I bet you have strong jaw muscles from the combination of eating the souls of children, eating two cheesesteaks at a time, and mouthing off about how intimidated you are by the Eagles. (I'm not even going to mention the 4th team in this division by name).

8) Let's wrap it up with some Predictions. Eagles snag the Division with a 10-6 record (I hear the screams of thats too low, but just hold onto your horses), utilize the bonus first playoff game to get acclimated to crushing skulls in the playoffs by trouncing the Buccaneers, then roll up through bitches into the SB, and avenge their week 12 loss to NE by putting up a 34-13 beat down on them, curtesy of Michael Vick, the Nandi Bear, and 'I wear my Shady's at night' McCoy.

So it has been spoken. To be fair, that was a lot more of just being totally stoked for the Eagles actually being scary good than anything, but still, let's be excited.

Thanks to all those that came back for the weekend special. I'll see you all next Sunday. Here's a picture of... Cupcakes